Jobs, jobs, jobs...jobbys.

I may be at a crucial point in my life where I finally (after years of resistance) have to concede that I really need money and will probably have to get a job like everyone else, because that's the way the works and its easy right? wrong. For the past year I've been doing part time cleaning work and also receiving some carers allowance money for looking after my partner. Apart from the fact that people most likely looked down their noses at me and my mother encouraged me to get 'proper' work I was perfectly fine. My income wasn't vast but it paid for what I wanted/needed and I rubbed along nicely. Until now. The time may have come for me to get a full time job and in my imagination more money and less manual labour seem pretty attractive, but then I remember that the world of work is hard to break into and harder still if you have anxiety. I haven't been officially diagnosed with this but it has been said by one of my high school teachers and I genuinely feel it almost every day. I mentally and physically cannot talk freely to most people when in a normal state of mind, the thought of answering a phone to a stranger makes me sweat and I can't cope with different situations very well, especially if they are in an unfamiliar place. So...with the obvious experience/connections/social skills needed to get a job, how am I ever going to get a decent place to work? This is the massive question. As your job seems to define your worth as a person to others and then these others try to make your job the measure of your own self worth. I find it sad that as a society one of the first things we're asked by people when they're getting to know us is 'what do you DO?' Well, there could be a multitude of answers to that, such as I enjoy music, reading, writing, trying to help people with problems, be decent and try to grow as a person...etc (that's just mine, insert your own) if you said any of those things then you would be asked the same question again, with the emphasis on DO. We as people are just defined by our job and I think that's plain wrong. There is way more to people than their occupation and if that's all you care about then you're horribly shallow. I would far rather surround myself with people who are kind souls, decent people inside who may be poor/unemployed but who are worth ten times more than a narrow minded person who lost their soul to a suit long ago. Another thing I hate is how the unemployed are made to feel ashamed, when many people genuinely do have mental disorders that leave them unable to cope with working (anxiety is one of them) its a pathetic witch hunt and it needs to stop, we should be supporting our fellow REAL human beings who have their struggles with life and NOT the wealthy who depend on our money and trust to maintain the system so they can invest in illegal activities etc and become even richer still through their insatiable greed. I am here to say that I am poor, I was not blessed with confidence or the advantage of being elite but I have to accept who I am and be my own person. Whatever work I end up doing will not define me, I am so much more than a slave of the system, I am a unique bundle of thoughts and feelings and mind junk. Yes I wish I didn't have issues, but I can't help the fact that I do. Whether I'm a cleaner, a librarian or simply unemployed, I'm still me, and I refuse to be ashamed of anything.