Concert!

Sooo on thursday I traveled from my little rock of an island down to Glasgow to see my favourite band, The Pretty Reckless. If you don't know who they are, check them out, you won't be disappointed...and if you are, mail me an angry letter...or just don't don't take music recommendations from me again, either way. I had a vip package so I got to meet them at get things signed...it was probably the best 100 quid I've ever spent, I was fangirling and having extreme heart palpitations as I told Taylor Momsen (!) I loved her and that she was an amazing person.

The signatures are kinda hard to decipher, looks like one of them couldn't be arsed anymore and just did a bit of a line, haha. I also have a signed poster on my bedroom wall.

Taylor was wearing glitter boots, and the music was so loud it made my lungs vibrate, and the whole thing was just pretty amazing. They are a fantastic band to see live and Taylors voice is just as good as it sounds in the recording studio, no auto-tune for her (pfft course not, she is god) and she could manage to be heard over the blasting rock music, which is no mean feat, as I couldn't hear some of what the support bands were singing. 

Because me and my friend were vip, we got to watch the concert from a balcony. The view was great and I wasn't surrounded by sweaty, thrashing bodies. Which I was happy about, mainly because I hate people. The only downside was that there were no seats so my back hurt...but hey, seeing the Pretty Reckless is well worth any pain, I could probably put up with being tortured if I could listen to them at the same time. 

Me chilling on the balcony :3

Thats all folks, just wanted to drop by and tell you what I've been up to. In case anyone wants to hear any of their songs, heres a link to a nice little youtube playlist for you. Have a rocking day :p

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rHBxJCq99jA&list=PLSDg5dnscdWPXHTrCFiK9lpToa7MRH4OD

My top movie and TV couples :)

I'm off work for a couple of weeks so naturally I've been slobbing out with a few of my fave dvds and have decided to compile a little list of the best romances...because...well, I can be soppy sometimes <3

The Phantom of the Opera and Christine Daae

The pictures so sweet right? (I'm fangirling) This is the first couple so you can be sure its my ultimate favourite. Although Christine is slightly scared of the Phantom (because he murdered someone, not so much because of his face) the chemistry between them is undeniable. Especially in the climatic scene where he crashes the performance of his own opera and sings a part of 'All I Ask of You' to her, its basically a love song and its so SWEET (more fangirling going on here, bear with me) Though she kind of ruins it by pulling his mask off in front of everyone afterwords, which I think is the tiniest bit insensitive as he doesn't want his face to be seen. Bad Christine. They don't end up together, but I've never wished harder for a movie couple to be together in my whole life. 

Rocky and Adrian

I watched this yesterday and I'd forgotten about these two. Rocky sees through Adrian's shyness, knows shes special and wants to take her out (who cares if someones shy, shy people are full of hidden awesomeness) He does his boxing thing and then they get married and have a child. Boom. A simple, cute relationship full of love and support for each other. They're together until her death (you find out she dies in Rocky Balboa) and at the beginning of the film hes lost without her, she was his rock. Its one of those true-love-one-marriage relationships that struggle to exist nowadays and yet its probably something to aspire to.

Gatsby and Daisy

I started off loving these two together, but by the end of The Great Gatsby it became clear that she was a thoroughly selfish little witch. Apparently it isn't enough for a guy to love you for years, build a huge mansion straight across the lake from your house, treat you like a princess orrr cover up for you when you hit someone with a car...oh no, Daisy would rather dither and stay with a husband who cheats on her. 100% effort from Gatsby, top guy...not so much effort from her. Cute until near the end of the film. Then if you're anything like me you'll be disappointed there wasn't a happy ending.

Cathy and Heathcliff

They start off so in love and so sure of that love, they're free to mill around the countryside and its Cathy and Heathcliff against the world. But then things get decidedly more fucked up as time goes on. Cathy marries someone else, has a child with him...Heathcliff marries Cathy's husbands sister and has a child with her to spite Cathy. You'd think that would be enough to dampen their feelings towards one another, however their twisted love still consumes them both. Its a classic for a reason...and also in the adaptation I'm talking about there is...TOM MOTHERFUCKING HARDY! *gazes at him lovingly*

Hannibal Lecter and Clarice Starling

This one is a tad more chilling. Hannibal is a cannibalistic murderer and shes the F.B.I agent who tracks him down, so you can see why things might be complicated. Clarice has always had a special relationship with Dr Lecter, however she isn't quite sure what to make of his love for her, what with him being a most wanted felon and psychopath. Still, the fact that Hannibal can even be capable of love is staggering and his exchanges with Clarice are quite endearing. They even share a kiss. Her ponytail is trapped in a fridge door and she can't really move when it happens...but hey, its still romantic, right?

Michelle (Smell) and Shaun

This is England is british tv/film at its best. My favourite couple from it is Smell and Shaun. Lets ignore the fact that he was basically 12 when they first got together (I found that a bit weird at first) though even then they were quite sweet. Even when they got older I've just always liked the way they've interacted, although it hasn't been plain sailing for the two. I love Smells eccentric dress sense and the things that she says (ok I'm having a Smell love in now as opposed to the couple), when she catches Sean cheating on her she yells at the other girl, calling her a 'jam tart'. I hope there's another series and that they're reunited for a second time.

Guy of Gisbourne and Marian

Okay, most of you have probably lost me here and I don't blame you. There was a Robin Hood TV series that ran in the UK from 2006-2009 and it was really great (or so I thought anyway). As well as Robin Hood, (Maid) Marian had another love interest in the shape of the leather clad Sir Guy of Gisbourne. He was totally head over heels in love with her, even though he acted like an evil, selfish douche at times and she pretended to have feelings for him so she could pass on secret info to Robin Hood (boo!). It was one of the most interesting relationships in the entire show, Guy battled with his feelings, tried to become a good man and did some really nice, heroic things for her. At times it seemed that Marian genuinely cared for him and I, along with many others wished she would just ditch Robin Hood and give the 'baddie' a chance.

Daryl and Beth

You've gotta love the Walking Dead, and of course, Daryl Dixon. He's a bad ass, biker, cross bow wielding survivor and his budding relationship with Beth was without a doubt the best thing about the previous series for me. They're an unlikely couple, he has a tough exterior and shes delicate and hopeful. But it works and they bonded when separated from the group, giving us a deeper insight into the characters personalities and experiences. I'm looking forward to the new series...if Beth dies, we riot!

And that's all folks, I did aim to do ten but its nearly half 1 in the morning and my minds gone blank. 

Taster from my book :)

From march to may of this year, I managed to write a novel. I've just finished editing it for a second time tonight and after this I'm hoping to be able to publish it, probably on amazon so people can buy it for their kindles. So at least there's always that option to self publish, its meant to be the easier route to go down. Anyway, I thought I'd post a little taster on here so that you'll all be dying to buy my book, haha.
    The snippet focuses on two of my main characters, sixteen year old Dolly, who has the fake name and persona of Delilah Diamond (she left home) and Sid Skinner, who owns the cabaret club in London that she ends up working at. Their relationship is an important feature throughout the story and this is the first time they meet. Enjoy.

Sherry finally returned, with a man in tow. He wasn't a customer, Dolly could tell, he was too high a calibre for that. Every single thing about him looked smart, from his slicked back hair, to his expensive shoes. However it was his eyes that held the most interest for her. Lots of people she knew had blue eyes, herself included but his were exceptionally cold and perceptive. His cheek bones were sharp on his attractive face. Without him having said a word she felt he was dangerous, her instincts told her to get as far away from him as possible. Like many a girl before her she was hypnotised by Sidney Skinner and there was nothing she could do about it but sit there and pretend he was just another man, face neutral, not wanting him to know she was affected by him.

He gave a thin lipped, half smile and knew if he had a shilling for every time this happened he would be a rich man, though he already was, money was money and he could never have enough of it. His smile grew wider still. This bird was doing well, he thought, impressed at how she had managed to set her face into a casual mask.

He sat down in the chair opposite her.

“So you're...Delilah, I take it? Wonderful name”

Dolly nodded and fidgeted underneath the table. She knew that he knew she had been creative, there were few Delilah's in the area.

“I also understand you can sing like a little lark? Although Sherry could be exaggerating, we both know how big her gob is”

He smirked at Sherry then, linking his hands together on top of the table.

Dolly froze, knowing what was coming next. Inside her head she cursed her friend, who she could see was rather tipsy.

“I've been told I can sing, yes” Dolly answered, voice quiet.

“Sing me a line or two of a tune and I'll tell you for sure”

His eyes glinted.

Looking around, she saw that the majority of the customers and girls were gone. Clearing her throat, she sang some of 'all things bright and beautiful' and Sidney put his hand up to silence her when he had heard enough.

“Good news, you can hold a tune all right”

He nodded at Sherry and what Dolly thought was a genuine smile crossed his face, even teeth showing.

“I have a job offer for you. You sing here, have your own act, five nights a week, any tips you get are yours to keep”

He sat back, confident that he would have her on board, most people asked to work here, not the other way around.

Dolly's mouth struggled to work and her hesitation both surprised and irritated him.

“I don't have all night love...going once...going twice...”

“I'll take it” Dolly said, hating herself for her cowardice.

“Excellent”

“Thank you Mr...?”

“Skinner, Sid Skinner but you can call me Sid”

He was all smiles once more, attempting to be friendly, though Dolly could still feel the underlying danger of him.

Sid sensed that she was no longer charmed by him and it rankled. The times he had approached someone with a job offer they fluttered their eyelashes at him and thanked him with a huge smile and come to bed eyes. His own eyes narrowed. She was different he'd give her that.

“You start tomorrow at seven, I'm sure Sherry will show you the ropes”

He got up, brushed an imaginary speck of dirt from his suit and walked away without a backwards glance. 

Life.

Sorry I haven't been posting (still not sure if anyone actually reads this thing but still) I couldn't think of anything decent to post because not many interesting things have been going on in my life, well, not stuff that people would want to hear about anyway. This is just a quick post to motivate any readers really.
    I don't know about you, but whenever I know I've done something wrong I seriously beat myself up about it, then try and strictly control my life in an attempt to be 'perfect' and act 'perfectly', like some people I compare myself with. When I'm thinking rationally then I know that of course no one is perfect (yeah, cliche alert...blah) and we can never hope to be. Everyone fucks up, its part of life, and I have a hard time getting myself to see that, but its simple and true. All you can do is keep going, keep trying and never give in. As long as you try then you can't do anymore, and you don't need to mentally slaughter yourself. Why make yourself feel like crap? plenty of other people will do it for you so why not be on team you for once. Also, music helps...a hell of a lot. And chinese food.
    I'm still trying to edit my book I've written and its grueling and demoralising at times, but I know that in the end I could have something that I'm proud of and that I should just keep pushing through. I might post an extract from it at some point, just to give people a teaser and maybe get some feed back.
    Anywhooo, back to my music. Cheerio for now.

Someone wants to be on my blog :p

Kyle

This is a creature known simply as a 'Kyle'. A charming half breed between dog and human complete with a bushy, red tail, he is either adorable or ferocious, depending on his mood. Despite these changes in character, Kyles often make great company and their boundless energy is impressive, they give everything their all and make great additions to a household. However, this particular Kyle can get overexcited quickly so if re-homed a remote control will be included and this can send calming signals to his micro chip. Please consider giving him a home. If interested, call 888888888807

Jobs, jobs, jobs...jobbys.

I may be at a crucial point in my life where I finally (after years of resistance) have to concede that I really need money and will probably have to get a job like everyone else, because that's the way the works and its easy right? wrong. For the past year I've been doing part time cleaning work and also receiving some carers allowance money for looking after my partner. Apart from the fact that people most likely looked down their noses at me and my mother encouraged me to get 'proper' work I was perfectly fine. My income wasn't vast but it paid for what I wanted/needed and I rubbed along nicely. Until now. The time may have come for me to get a full time job and in my imagination more money and less manual labour seem pretty attractive, but then I remember that the world of work is hard to break into and harder still if you have anxiety. I haven't been officially diagnosed with this but it has been said by one of my high school teachers and I genuinely feel it almost every day. I mentally and physically cannot talk freely to most people when in a normal state of mind, the thought of answering a phone to a stranger makes me sweat and I can't cope with different situations very well, especially if they are in an unfamiliar place. So...with the obvious experience/connections/social skills needed to get a job, how am I ever going to get a decent place to work? This is the massive question. As your job seems to define your worth as a person to others and then these others try to make your job the measure of your own self worth. I find it sad that as a society one of the first things we're asked by people when they're getting to know us is 'what do you DO?' Well, there could be a multitude of answers to that, such as I enjoy music, reading, writing, trying to help people with problems, be decent and try to grow as a person...etc (that's just mine, insert your own) if you said any of those things then you would be asked the same question again, with the emphasis on DO. We as people are just defined by our job and I think that's plain wrong. There is way more to people than their occupation and if that's all you care about then you're horribly shallow. I would far rather surround myself with people who are kind souls, decent people inside who may be poor/unemployed but who are worth ten times more than a narrow minded person who lost their soul to a suit long ago. Another thing I hate is how the unemployed are made to feel ashamed, when many people genuinely do have mental disorders that leave them unable to cope with working (anxiety is one of them) its a pathetic witch hunt and it needs to stop, we should be supporting our fellow REAL human beings who have their struggles with life and NOT the wealthy who depend on our money and trust to maintain the system so they can invest in illegal activities etc and become even richer still through their insatiable greed. I am here to say that I am poor, I was not blessed with confidence or the advantage of being elite but I have to accept who I am and be my own person. Whatever work I end up doing will not define me, I am so much more than a slave of the system, I am a unique bundle of thoughts and feelings and mind junk. Yes I wish I didn't have issues, but I can't help the fact that I do. Whether I'm a cleaner, a librarian or simply unemployed, I'm still me, and I refuse to be ashamed of anything.

Hibernation

This is one of my definite poems, I'm proud of this one :)


I am not humiliated,
ashamed and affiliated,

I am not strained,
vocal and pained,
I am safe.

I am not changed,
melancholy or deranged,
I am not talkative,
forced or provocative,
I am secure.

I am not opposed
hated and disclosed,
I am not seen,
judged and obscene,
I am alone.